Semi-exciting news

So I was talking to my cuz last week because I was looking at Centennial's website and I thought it said that classes start Sept, Jan and May. Amy told me that it was only Sept and Jan, she didn't know why May was there. So I called up the school and they said that they are still accepting applications for the Jan classes.

I would be entering as a mature student seeing as how I'm over 19, which means that if I don't want, I don't have to worry about getting my GED. I want to get it but I don't like the idea that one of the days classes run till 9pm which would mean that I would be getting home round midnight or something seeing as how no one is willing to pick me up. The only good this is that I don't have to pay for it, my caseworker told me that OW is going to pay for it.

I have to get a 450 to pass and at this point working in the textbook that I bough for studying, I'm not doing so good but I know that mom would have wanted me to get my high school diploma. Its taking too long to go for the courses; I have another 5 to go, its holding me back from getting a job.

I've already got dates set up for when I do my Fist-aid/CPR training, its going to be 2 days, all day and its in Nov and like my GED the gov is also going to be paying for it. All I have to do now, is get $95 in my account out of my savings and put it in my account because that money has to go with my application and I have to get a police check. Then its just waiting to see if I get in or not.

If I don't get in it Jan, I'll try again for next Sept but I'm going to keep positive vibes going for Jan classed. Amy told me that, that means that I'll be having classes in the summer but I told her that it was fine, I've had my freedom for this long, so its time to get my act together and do something with my life. If I'm guessing correctly I'll be done in 2016 and I think that Seneca has a course for training people with ECE's to become an all day kindergarten teacher and I'll most likely take that course as well, which means that by the time I'm 30 I might be a teacher.

I've got roughly 4 months to get my GED, finish my creative writing diploma and pay for it as well as do the other things and wait to hear back from Centennial if I'm in or not for Jan.

Vacay pics

So I went away two weeks ago with the aunt, uncle, godparents and cousins to a cottage. The cottage wasn't the greatest but it was still fun. I slept in a tent for the first time which was really cool, there was some family drama; nothing new there and the godmother suggested that maybe it was time for me to get a place on my own seeing as how the aunt and I are fighting a lot more lately and here's the rub, everyone thought that the uncle and I wouldn't get along because he's so much like the grandfather at times but him and I seem to be getting along ok. Almost every morning and every night I went for walks with the cousins, I also went swimming, went into town and of course take pics.

My tent

These flowers were growing in a tree stump

cows that were just down the road from the cottage

front of the cottage

Me and the cows; god I look fat 

Healey Falls 

Jimmy at Healey falls 

Amy walking along a pier

Loons that were in the lake that was like a min from the cottage



These are just a few of the pics that I took while away. 

My Goals

1. Get my high school diploma
2. Get a diploma in creative writing
3. Get a college diploma in ECE-Early Childhood Education
4. Get my book published
5. Go to Forks, Washington
6. Go to "Wizarding World of Harry Potter 

So what have I been up to?

Pretty much the same as usual, working on finishing off the high school diploma and working on my creative writing diploma. Recently I've been helping to take care of the aunt after she fell off the pool ladder and hurt her back; thankfully there is nothing broken, just badly bruised. I've finally decided what I want to go to college for, I'm going to get my ECE-Early Childhood Education. I'll need to get my CPR certificate as well as another certificate and then once I get my ECE diploma and try to get in with a daycare and hopefully work my way up to being a teacher. I think that I would like to teach a younger grade, maybe 1-5. I've also still been working on my writing, just posted a new Jasper/Bella story on ff. I've also applied to 3 different places for a job but haven't heard back from any of them yet.

I've been thinking lately, there is 2 things that have been missing off my goals list, a trip to Forks Washington and a trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Those are two places that I want to visit because of what they represent; the memories that I have, the people that I've met and the great friends that I got out of it all. I would love to be able to go and see, touch and smell things that I've only read/watched. All I would need to do is save up my money and get a passport. I think that Tiger would be ok on her on for a few days; will know how she gets on soon seeing as how we will be leaving for the cottage in a short while.

Guess I'll just have to wait and see what I can do. Would be nice to be able to go and have pics of those places of my own.

Question

So here's the thing, I'm almost positive that I want to go to college after I get my high school diploma but the thing is what do I want to study? So far I have to options, the first is Law Clerk. It sounds fun but I don't know, I mean there was a time that I wanted to be a lawyer; think its because of all the times I've watched "Law& Order", and this will get me close to being that. The second is getting my diploma in ECE (Early Childhood Education) I've always loved working with children and ever since I read "Anne of Green Gables" I wanted to be a teacher just like Anne.

Here's the thing, the cousin says not to go into teaching because I won't get a job with the board; that's her problem right now, I say I don't have to get a teaching position right away I could always start out in a daycare and work my way up. There are some colleges that offer getting your ECE online and that's great but I know that I need to get out and meet people I can't stay here in my room all my life. I'm afraid in a sense of the world because I've never had much experience with it.

So what do I do? Do I go with something that I've wanted to do since I was a child or do I go with something that I wanted to do but then gave up that dream; law students have to stay in school another 7 years, both of these choices are 2 years and 4 semesters. The Centennial Progress campus offers both law clerk and ECE  and from what I understand, its only an hour away give or take. Then there is also Seneca college that offers ECE.

I really want to become a teacher but like I said, there is the cousin telling me not to do it and i'll never find a job but why do something that my heat isn't in it? My heart is actually in writing but there isn't a promise there either that I'll get my book published. There is another part of my brain asking when the fuck I became such a spineless git and listened to what others say? I've taken care of myself for a long time; I mean nothing against mom but I pretty much had to do everything for myself, so I say if I want to become a teacher then why in the fuck don't I go and get my ECE start in a daycare and work my way up from there?

I think I would make a good teacher. I love being around children;hell when I did my co-op placement in HS I didn't want to work in the office I rather had been in the classroom and when the teachers let me sit in was some of the funnest time I had there. When I did the leading to reading programme at the library I had fun teaching them to read and I'm thinking of taking that back up again; though that would mean giving up my Sat with the aunt and uncle but its a sacrifice that I'm willing to take.

You know writing this all out has helped me to chose what I want to go to college for. I want to get my ECE and be on my way to becoming a teacher. I just need to figure out how to get my First Aid and CPR certificates. The cousin will probably try to put me off my plan but I won't let her, this is something that I've wanted to do since I was a kid and by fuck I'm going to go out and do it.

Update on life

So I've starting taking online classes to get my creative writing diploma, I'm 3 credits away from getting my high school diploma; that is if I pass the test for the current course that I'm taking, I'm thinking about going to college and becoming a law clerk but I'm still not sure yet if I want to go for that yet or not. I would much rather do something with teaching but the cousin says not to do this because its hard to get into the school board.

I met with the case worker that I was assigned when I applied for Ontario Works recently and he made me feel so small, like I was in the principal's office. He told me that I'm going to have to continue paying for the courses that I'm taking because they don't see it as a legit thing; or something along those lines. He also told me that because I'm doing something, he doesn't care because he doesn't have to motivate me. The aunt thinks that its stupid that I'm continuing on with my creative writing diploma but like I told her, I already put out money and started doing the work, so why would I want to stop now?

I've got everything figured out; finance wise, so I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing no matter what any one says. I'm doing things that make me happy so I'm going to continue doing the classes that I'm doing and screw everyone else.

This past Sunday, the aunt, uncle, godparents, cousins and I went to the beach and spent the day there, we had a picnic and it was a good time. Got a lot of swimming in, though I do wish that the weather had been warmer. In August we are going away for a week to a cottage and somehow I got roped into sleeping outside in a tent, I don't know how all that came about but whatever, I'll sleep out there,. Least I don't have to worry bout them bickering. I just hope that Amy has the cell that I bought from her cleaned off of her stuff so that I can talk with Christine while I'm in the tent alone.

I still miss mom; that's never going to go away its still weird for me being here, I mean who would have thought that I would be spending this much time with them? We seem to be getting along but of course that all can change in an instant. There doesn't seem to be that many fights between the uncle and I or the aunt and I though I still get blamed for things that I didn't do or did wrong some times but I just shrug that off and tell them to fuck off in my mind.

So that's what's been going on with me recently, nothing too exciting just homework, reading and watching movies/TV and going on on Fri afternoons and Saturday mornings. No job yet but that's ok, I want to be able to put all my attention to my homework. I can't wait to display my hs diploma on my wall and my cw one. I'll be painting my room sometime this month when the aunt and uncle go on the little anniversary getaway for 2 days; I'll be pretty much home alone in the mornings seeing as how the cousin will be at work but that's ok. I won't mind.

Gifs

So haven't posted any gifs in awhile, so I thought that I fix that by posting some new ones I've found. Going to be a mix of things.

Feeling inadequate

So lately I've been feeling inadequate, I look at Amy and see all these things that she's done and I just feel like I'm looked at with pity and judgement. On her bedroom wall, she has all these diploma's; college, teacher's college and I think high school, and I don't have even my hs diploma yet. Every time I walk pass her room I see them and I feel down. I know that I shouldn't compare myself to her but its hard, there is only 5 years that separate us and yet she's done more then me.

I know that there wasn't anything that I could do while I was taking care of mom but still, it hurts to see. I've been thinking today, mom wanted me to not only get my hs diploma but we also were talking about me getting a creative writing diploma before she died. I'm thinking that maybe now I can get it as well while still working on my hs diploma, cuz and aunt says that I shouldn't do anything with creative writing seeing as how that won't give me a job and believe me I know that it won't but I still want to get it to make mom proud of me.

I figure that, I get $580 from OW;for some reason its not the $606 that I was originally told, once I pay them the $350 for rent I'll have, $230 left over. From the info that I got before mom died and I would have to pay $39 every month which means that I would have $191 left. If I take $50 from that and put it in my college fund I'll have $141 left. I'm pretty sure that I'll be able to live off of that for a month; its way more then I used to have, that's for damn sure. I mean if I have to, I'll just stop buying things from garage sales and the only pieces of clothing that I still need are 3 tops to go with my p.j. bottoms and a bathing suit that actually holds me. If I need to, I'll take a bit of the money that I have saved already.

I don't need to tell the aunt about the CW courses but then again, I may just tell her and try to make her understand that its something that I want to do to fulfill another wish of mom's. If I do plan on going to college; which I'm seriously considering, I could always get a student loan and pay it back once I get a job. I'm thinking that I might go to that community college to become a law clerk; pretty sure that would pull in a pretty penny, and from what I understand its only like $4,000 a year and its a 2 year thing. I have the money that I have saved up now to pay for the books.

I talked to Christine about this and she thinks that its a great idea and that I should do something for me and not worry bout what the aunt says and I just might take her advice, I mean hell I did listen to her about getting the 100 Monkeys things that I wanted so why not take her advice about this?

I think that I should get back to my old ways and say fuck everybody and do things for myself again. Its almost like every since mom died, I've become a shell of myself and want to impress the people around me, what in the fuck happened to me? I'm almost positive that i'm going to go for my CW diploma while I'm still doing my hs diploma; think i can do that, will need to call and check with them.

You know what's a scary thought?

So here it is, the scary thing is that I could possibly go to college if I wanted to once I finished getting my high school diploma and that option wasn't open to me before. That's not to say that I was stupid before or that I'm glad that mom's dead; because that couldn't be further from the truth, but with the way that mom and I was handling money, there was no way that I would have been able to go. Now that I have a small saving set up for myself there is the chance that I could go if I wanted to. It wouldn't have to be some fancy college, I could go to a city one.

I was looking online just now and saw that there is a community college here in Scarborough that I could go to, from what I understand, its not far to get to on the bus. I could either take journalism or legal clerk; both things I only need my hs diploma. I'll now be getting help from Ontario Works, so all I'll have to do is learn to live off the money that they give me, stop buying things at Value Village and at garage sales and maybe try to put a little away from what I will be getting from OW with the money that I have saved in the safe. I'm not getting a lot from OW, just $600 but I think I would be able to handle it all and from what I understand from the woman that I talked to at OW when I went to see if I qualify, she said there was a possibility that they could pay for my courses for HS.

There would be more money that I'm saving as well, all I would need to do is cut down on my chocolate habit as well and I'm sure that I could get a student loan if I needed it as well. I don't know how I feel about that slim possibility of going to college, I have doubts that I would never get in or have enough money to pay for school but then there is this voice in my head that says that I could do it.

I know mom and gran would be very proud of me if I go to college or I don't, I just wish they were here with me so that we can talk about it. I haven't fully talked to the aunt and cousin about it, its been mention in passing but its never really been discussed and sometimes when we talk, the cuz makes it out that I would never be able to do that, that I'll have to find something so that I can get a job but of course that could be what she's not saying and I'm just letting my doubts get in the way.

I think I'll talk it over with one of my friends but they'll probably just tell me to do what I think is best, but that's the problem, I don't know what's best. I'm so confused. I know the aunt has said that I'm not alone in my decisions anymore and that's a small comfort to me, but its never going to be the same as talking to mom about these things.

I guess the best thing for me to do is just play it be year and see what happens. Let the dice fall where they may, cross those bridges when I come to them.

I keep on loving you

So this is my new story, its a drabble and it came about with me watching non stop Big Bang Theory at nights; trying to play catch up, and also hearing Reba's song of the same name. I hope this helps me with my writer's block as well as my other drabble like story. So love the banner, Deebelle did an amazing job as always.

I keep on loving you

Jasper's Sweetheart

So this is my newest story, I'm going back to my roots and doing another Jasper/Bella story. This isn't saying that I grew board with writing Garrett/Bella because that couldn't be further from the truth, I just love J/B so much. Love how the lyrics on the banner; which I didn't ask for, this was a premade banner, is ' She's everything' by Brad Paisley. I'm so going to add that song in to my story, not sure yet if Its going to be a full on fic or if its just going to be highlights of Jasper and Bella lives like their first date, marriage proposal, wedding and then death or just write out. *shrugs* I'll figure something out :)

Jasper's Sweetheart

I've made a decision

So today I made a decision, I'm going to exercise more and going to "try" and eat healthier. I'm going to try and cut down my my chocolate intake as well. I'm going to walk more, do squats, lunges and try the 'Dancing With the Stars' workout disk for the Wii. I just got to stick with it and not give up.

Today I worked in the garden with the cousin and then her and I went for a fast pace walk. The back of my legs were killing me and I've got to learn to keep my shoulders back, head up and tummy tucked in while walking; which is freaking hard. Today though I got sunburned on my shoulders and neck, think a bit at the back of my neck as well. I'm in pain and my arms hurt, I put some cream on it and its taken some of the burn out but its still hurting. My forehead hurts also so that tells me that I got burnt there also. BLAH.

Life... or something like it.

So its been 2 months since mom died and yesterday was her 50th birthday. It seems that the aunt and uncle have decided that its time to stop being somewhat nice towards me and its time to start showing their true colors. Its now like I'm living in a prison and its bloody well starting to tick me off. Not only are they telling me what I can and can't buy but I'm not allowed to have TV in my room till I get a job; which means that not only am I missing my baseball, I also have to watch what they watch and I have to wait till a day after my shows air to watch it. I'm also not allowed to have a cell phone till I get a job.

I'm also pissed off how the aunt calls Tiger names and keeps on threatening that she is going to throw her out when I'm not watching. Tiger has only had me and mom to be with, now she has 3 strangers she has to get used to as well as another cat so of course she's going to growl and hiss but the aunt gets pissed off and calls her attitude and tells her that she and I is lucky to have a roof over our heads because we could have been out on the streets.

Yesterday the cousin woke me up and asked if I wanted to come out with her and the aunt so I won't have to sit home alone and think. It was all going ok till I went to HMV while the cousin looked in another store, I found a book that I wanted; it was Wolverine with the X-Men graphic novel, it was only $20 and I was about to go and buy it when they came into HMV and started in on me saying that I can buy it seeing as how I have no money and no job; something that they love reminding me about, I told them that I had some money and that the book wasn't expensive but they didn't care they kept on about me not being allowed to buy it, I got so pissed off that I threw the book and stormed off. They keep saying that once I get a job I can buy what ever I want but what they don't realize is that I probably won't find a job seeing as how I have no experience.

I just wish I can get my book picked up by a publishing house and then I won't have to worry about my lack of experience.

Then when we got home, the uncle almost started yelling at me for something that the cousin did and believe me, if she wasn't here, I would have gone off and they would have learned who the true me was. The cousin didn't recycle properly and instead of asking who it was, he automatically thought it was me and almost jumped down my throat and I was left sitting there wanting to cry, the son of a bitch didn't even say sorry to me for thinking that it was me, he just went on like nothing happen.

I swear he is too much like my grandfather and something is going to happen and I know that I'm going to snap and it won't be pretty. I guess I just need to learn to harden my heart and build that wall around myself again while trying to keep my emotions in check.

A Thousand Years won

So 'The Rebel Soldier' didn't place in the Non-Canon Awards but 'A Thousand Years' took 3rd place in the judges section. Of course Ellie won; personally I think she's stacked the votes in her favor but I'm not saying that out loud mind ya *winks*

Jackson my love

So tonight I decided to watch POA, I logged in and saw that a friend tagged me in a pic, when I saw it I was like OMG. It was a pic that Jackson posted on Who Say, it was of himself wearing a sideways baseball cap and wearing Harry glasses. Love the pic, so damn sexy and I love the caption that he included as well

I'm a redneck Harry Potter.
Chicken and waffles, magic and beer. Harry Potter and the Lost Keg of Allagash

Jackson- Word Theater event 2013

So recently Jackson was involved in the 2013 Word Theater event again. I'm not sure what he read but I do have awesome pics from the day.

This one is my fav of the 3

Wonder what he's reading?

Looks like he could just a hug

Cryin'

So I'm trying something new, I'm writing my first Edward story but it won't be Edward/Bella, its Edward/OC. Now you may be wondering, why Edward?, well the answer is, why not? I know I've had trouble writing him before but I think that was because I paired him with Bella, I think I can write this pretty well as long as its with an OC. I was listening to Hugh Jackman singing 'Cryin' and I thought it would be a great idea for a story and the next thing that I knew, Edward was there sitting on his Harley waiting for me to get on with writing him. I posted the fist chapter and I have Deebelle to take for the awesome banner, I really had her working on this one.

Cryin'    

Medieval Times fun

So yesterday, aunt Betty, aunt Donna, uncle Mike, Amy, Jim, Monica and I all went to Medieval Times. It was the first time that I ever went there and omg the place is freaking amazing. We had to wait a bit for the doors to open but once they did things got moving, we were placed in the red&yellow knights section and after we gotten our crows we took a family pic with the king; the princess was already busy, we went into the next room and my mind was in complete overdrive.

It's so freaking amazing in there, I got to see the horses; though they were behind glass, and got to do some shopping as well. I bought this awesome goblet for $13, I had it delivered to the table once we got to go into the area; I got fruit punch slushy in the glass, then I bought a dragon necklace and in its claws its clutching a red heart. I then bought what I think is called a circlet, its red and there is a red jewel that sits in the middle of my head.

Monica went and got Amy's name on a list so that she could be knighted, it was a complete surprise to Amy and she kept saying that it wasn't her; we all pushed her towards the stage, Monica got some good pics and then Amy bought the pic that was taken; she was knighted because her b-day is on April 10th. Amy took my pic sitting in on a throne and then it was time to go in.

The match and the horse riding/tricks were simply amazing, the knights really work hard with their horses. Our knight won and Amy caught a pink carnation from him. We were dead center of the area, in the third row from the bottom. Once the show was over, I bought a mini sword; think it has a different name though, that had a dragon on it, then we all went into the dungeon; I was playing as if I was scared but it was actually a place that housed old time torture devices.

After we left the dungeon, I saw that the knights were out, so Amy said to find out knight; it wasn't that hard, I curtsied bowed to the green knight and then got my pic taken with the red&yellow knight after congratulation him on his win. I then took a pic with the king and I laughed at the king because he said, "Its great being the king, I get to be surrounded by beautiful woman." Amy and I were standing beside him when he said that.

While Amy and uncle Mike was looking at the horses, I bought a picture frame that had Medieval Times on it because Amy is going to crop the pics so that its just the king and I and the red& yellow knight and I then I'm going to put them together and put it in the frame. I also bought the family pic with the king and then had Amy take my pic in the princess's throne.

It was a great night and I had a blast. I'll add pics once I get them; Amy took a lot as did Monica.

me, uncle Mike, aunt Donna,
the king, Amy, Monica, Jim
and aunt Betty

The Rebel Soldier and A Thousand Years nominated

So 'The Rebel Soldier and his Little Lady' has been nominated in the Non-Canon Awards for the Judges Section. Its funny, I was on a rampage the other day because Erin and Ellie were nominated and Ellie created the damn thing and Erin is a judge, so of course I thought it was rigged but then I come on today and find out that I was nominated as well.

Its funny though, in the rules it says that the admins and judges can't be nominated yet we all are nominated, Ellie can't keep anything straight. I don't care though seeing as how I'm nominated. I probably won't win though but its hard to say seeing as how people are loving this story and the reviews are still climbing.

Just found out that 'A Thousand Years' has also been nominated in the judges section, best Jasper/Bella.

Pretty sure that either of these won't win seeing as how in the judges section its pretty much Ellie and Erin and I know for a fact that one of them will get all the votes; unless of course there is a tie between them, they'll get everyone to vote for them. Whatever, I don't give a flying fuck in hell weather I win or not; because I know I won't.

Update on my life.

Well its been three and a half weeks since mom died; boy does time fly, we are finally going to bury her on Fri after finding out that we need wills so that there will be no complaints from the others about mom being buried with the grandparents and then me forgetting to bring the wills to the meetings.

The apt is almost empty, just my room and the rest of mom's room to clean out as well as the locker. It hurts having to get rid of everything, so many bags and boxes have entered the garbage. Things are coming here but they are all outside in the backyard under tarps till summer because everyone is afraid that if we bring it in, they will get bed bugs here. I haven't painted my room yet; waiting for summer to do that.

Plans are being made for what they want me to do, of course I need to finish getting my high school diploma but there is also talks bout sending me to collage, me learning to drive and of course I'll have to get a job so I can continue paying rent and groceries.

I'm doing ok, still adjusting. There are types that I have deja vu as if I've been here before but I know that's crazy seeing as how I've never been to any of their houses. I spend my days with aunt Donna and we seem to be getting along but there have been times that we've almost come to blows because she thinks I'm too cheeky but what she doesn't realize that this is me, end of story. I was on her shit list on Sunday; her and uncle Mike was arguing over the garbage and recycling and then uncle Mike teased me telling me to take out the garbage which I didn't have any problems doing, well aunt Donna took it the wrong way and started a whole argument with uncle Mike. As uncle Mike was throwing out the garbage, I said to aunt Donna that he was only teasing me and she's all like, "whatever, I don't care." blah, blah, blah.

When uncle Mike came back in, he said, "I'm her uncle, I can tease her if I want." to which I agreed and that tipped her over the edge because she stormed out of the kitchen, slammed and locked the door that leads to the downstairs rooms and that was the last we saw of her till Amy came home. She was still bitch on Monday and blamed it on over working on Saturday.

I've recently became obsessed with Hugh Jackman and I'll I can say is, why in the hell did it take me this long to find this man. I so love him and he's too sexy for his own god damn good. I can't wait to get Les Mis on dvd and on Mon while I was out with Amy, I almost when on a Hugh Jackman dvd buying spree; its still odd to have money, I know it won't last; well not as much as I have now, I found 'Happy Feet' for $5 and I was going to get 'Rise of the Guardians' but it was $24 so I'm going to wait till it comes down in price. While we were at Best Buy, I found 'Wolverine' for $16 but Amy said that we could get it cheaper and I also found 'The Prestige' that was $10 but the only problem was that it was a blu ray and this dvd player in my room, is only for standard dvd's.

I can't tell you how many times I've watched 'Wolverine' as well as the other X-Men movies that he's in. In July, there will be a new 'Wolverine' coming out and next year, a new 'X-Men'. So can't wait to see them. Hugh is just a sexy bastard and I'm so happy because when I was going through my things, I found 2 mags that I have with him in it; which of course I kept. Today Amy put Les Mis on my eReader and I found a way to convert youtube vids to MP3s so I've got Hugh singing a couple of songs;love listening to him sing, on my eReader as well; so love the fact that I can listen to music at the same time that I'm reading. I can also add pics, which I've already done.

On the 29th of this month we are going to 'Medieval Times' which I'm excited about; its going to be me, Amy, uncle Mike, aunt Donna, aunt Betty, Jimmy and Monica, There is talk that Amy and I are going to do our hair to resemble the times and she is also going to give me a camera so I can take pics. Then tonight we finalized plans to go to a cottage for a week in Aug; which I haven't been to on, since the grandparents have been alive, I don't know how I'm going to leave Tiger for a week, I just pray that she will be alright.

Wolverine Gifs

So as everyone knows, I love gifs and I LOVE Wolverine and thankfully, I get to pair both of my loves together. 

2 new stories.

So these stories were written before the 360 in my life and I'm now just getting to post them. The first is Twi, Jasper/Bella that was entered in 'The Heart of Country Contest' and of course I didn't win seeing as how my story was non-canon and all the winners were canon. I mean who in the hell can see Edward as a cowboy? The second story is VA, Rose/Dimitri that was entered in a Valentine's Day contest; don't know the winners because as the person running it said, "I'm very very busy and can't be on fb." well then why in the hell didn't you factor your busy life in before doing this contest.

Smokey Bars and Pretty Girls

Dinner Date for Two

How your life can change in an instant and not for the good

So on Saturday the 23, I woke up at 4 pm after going back to bed once I had fed Tiger and that's when my whole world changed. Tiger woke me up screaming because she was hungry, looked at the time and was shocked to see that I slept for most of the day. I looked over to mom to see if she had waken up as well and I noticed that her head was off her pillows, I didn't want her neck to get any sorer so I shook her to wake her up and called out to her but she didn't respond and that's when I noticed that her lips were blue and so was her face.

I panicked, prayed that she wasn't what I thought she was, I kept trying to get her to wake up but she didn't. I called Uncle John to find Aunt Betty but he told me that she wasn't home, I told him what was wrong and he told me to call 911, I did so;shaking like a leaf the whole time, and told them the situation. The operator told me to roll her over or onto the floor; she was lying on her stomach, I tired but I couldn't. Soon the ambulance arrived and I told them what was going on; I hope against hope that all she needed was some oxygen to help her, but when the second set of  ambulance workers arrived and they learned how she was found is when my world collapsed. She was dead.

I couldn't think, couldn't breathe and all I wanted to do was cry and scream. The had Uncle John come up to see me, they told him what had happened and he was sad. He came in to see me, gave me a hug stayed for a bit and then said that he had to go back looking for Aunt Betty. The ambulance and police kept trying to get me to leave but I was so lost, I didn't know what I wanted to do, when Uncle John came back up, they talked him in to taking me downstairs to be with him because they had to wait for the corner and didn't know how long he was going to be.

So I went and sat there in his place on the couch and cried and begged for it all to be a dream, Uncle Mike and Aunt Donna came in not long after and that's when Aunt Donna told me that I was coming to live with them for as long as I wanted. I couldn't believe that she wanted me and she told me that she wouldn't have it any other way seeing as how Aunt Betty didn't have the room.

Its been an emotional roller coaster these past couple of days and its not going to stop because I have all next month to get the place cleaned out; have to get rid of A LOT of things, and of course April would have been mom's 50 b-day. The police acted as if they didn't believe me when I told them that I had to do everything for mom.

Finally we got told that it was an enlarged heart that caused her death and that we would be able to get back in the apt; see what happened is they shut down the apt and I only had the clothes on my back and nothing else, not even Tiger. We got Tiger the next day and now we are here living in the upstairs bedroom of Aunt Donna and Uncle Mike's place.

Its odd having to pick up my whole life and not having to take care of mom but I miss her so much. Saturday is the service and then the week after we will be burying her. She's going to be cremated and buried with Gran and Gramps which is good because I know that she would have love that. Its going to be hard on Sat because the people up north are coming; as far as I know, and they are all going to be shedding croc tears I know it. No one cares what happens.

Aunt Betty told everyone not to send flowers, to give me money to help me out. I'm thankful for her, Uncle Mike, Aunt Donna and Amy's help. Don't know what I would have done without them.

Jackson screen caps from 'White Collar' -'Shoot the moon'

So last night my love was on 'White Collar' and I was pissed at everyone because they got to watch it and I didn't; the only channel that I found it on was only on season 4 episode 5 and Jackson's was season 4 episode 14, but thankfully my friend Nicole told me where I could watch it online because I would have had to wait at least a month if not more to see it on TV; of course I got that episode bookmarked on my computer so I can go and watch it anytime I like.

So I went and checked the website today and sure enough the episode was there and I watched it, swooned, sighed, giggled and just fell in love with Jackson all over again. There was one line that I loved from his character. I think his character's name was Oz (were off to see the wizard *giggles) anyway Oz says to his girl, "I got you the moon."(insert major sigh here) after getting an actually moon stone for her.

Thankfully Jackson's character doesn't die in this episode; don't think I would be able to handle him dying again, of course I had to get some screen caps of Jackson from the show. I know there are a lot more then my 4 out there but these 4 were my favorite and showed the most emotion from him; especially 3rd.

So first here is the promo from the show and then I'll add the pics

"I got you the moon."

Love his eyes in this pic 

Wish he would write to me everyday for the rest of my life

Roses for my love

So this is my newest fic. Its Vampire Diaries Elijah/Elena. Its sorta a fully Valentine's Day story. The chapters are short and I don't know how long this story is going to be, but I don't give a care because I've finally gotten a story written that showcases my favorite Original. I so love this banner, its so pretty.

Roses for my love

Taming of the King

So once again I've let Speklez talk me into writing slash; I don't know how this always comes about. This time its with characters that I've never played with... the Volturi. I've posted the first chapter and its going to be a drabble fic, don't know how long or how many chapters but yet its out there now for her.

Pairings: Caius and Demetri - why them you may ask... well Caius is my fav and Demetri is Speklez's fav. Like I said, its lucky I love her.

Taming of the King

Synopsis and air Date for Jackson's episode of 'White Collar'

Synopsis and Air Date for "White Collar" Episode with Jackson

SHOOT THE MOON (#414)
Peter and Neal work from different angles as they attempt to stop a thieving duo bent on going out in a hail of bullets rather than watch their whirlwind relationship fade away behind bars.
Guest Stars: Hilarie Burton, Jackson Rathbone and Jessica McNamee
Airs: Tuesday, February 19 @10/9c

Info gotten from PattyStewBoneCity blog

So I'm hoping that Jackson's character won't be one of the ones that want to die in a hail of bullets because I'm getting tired of Jackson almost dying or dying. Can't wait to see Jackson back on TV again.

Jackson pics from 'Warm Bodies' premier

So last night Jackson attended the 'Warm Bodies' premier. 'Warm Bodies' is the new zombie movie that some are calling the new Twilight, personally, I think the movie looks like crap and I ain't seeing it.

As always Mr. Rathbone is looking handsome as ever. There were some other pics where Jackson has his arm wrapped around a girl that's not his baby mama but I think its only the one that played Angela from the Twi movies but I'm not sure.